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Live From The House

by Gary Llama

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1.
Highway 95, cutting through the trees On the border of North Carolina, paper mill on the breeze Here I took my first ten steps, dreamed by first big dreams In this milling town full of dying dreams This house is where I saw my family transform From a circle of support… to something else Unemployment hanging low… racism on the breeze Cocaine out by tracks where I used to play Neighbors used to wave and smile, now their raided by the DEA This quiet col-de-sac, has quickly been replaced By a circle of despair, sidewalks cutting through the overgrown trees Men who held their palms outstretched, now a shadow of who they used to be So we packed ourselves, put our things in the rental truck And moved to the north… When I see you, don’t look upset At this life that some call wrecked We’re only as strong as we imagine ourselves to be
2.
We write our present, on the back of the past We dream of the future, but don’t think it will last When your dragging baggage, from something that you did It’s hard to imagine something, other than what you’ve lived Do you want to be a simple man? Do you want to be the one who changed? Do you want to make something better for them? Do you want to fall so close to the tree? We write our present, on the back of the past We dream of the future, but don’t think it will last When your dragging baggage, from something that you did It’s hard to imagine something, other than what you’ve lived Do you want to be a simple man? Do you want to be the one who changed? Do you want to make something better for them? Do you want to fall so close to the tree?
3.
Colder 01:25
He’s got a wind that never runs out, From Halifax to the eastern shore Drives a diesel that never runs low, On his way to see her He got a fight that never runs dry, Fifteen years at the redline Heart so heavy it seems it might, break from beating Fucking Mountains, Fucking Horror It’s like you don’t count your blessing till the day their gone Afghan winters are so much colder When the love that warmed your heart, just ain't there no more She’s got a mind that never ran right, always up for a battle cry Kick you in the face and smash your teeth, just to meet you She’s got a price but it’s never paid, hold your hand then walks away Stab you in the chest then spit in your guts, just to kill you Fucking Mountains, Fucking Horror It’s like you don’t count your blessing till the day their gone Afghan winters are so much colder When the love that warmed your heart, just ain't there no more
4.
18 Years 00:43
Eighteen years, Eighteen years, Eighteen years… She was only eighteen years… Eighteen years, Eighteen years, Eighteen years… She was only eighteen years… Tell me the reason why she’s gone Tell me the reason we lose the one’s we’ve loved Eighteen years, Eighteen years, Eighteen years… She was only eighteen years…
5.
Did you know 02:03
Do they know? The concept of loss Do they know That she was all ya got Do they understand That broken can be too broken Do they know The pain of their taking Do they know? Do they care? Is it a better world Up there? Do they know That his narrative was half empty Do they know That this was all we could gather Do they understand That the beating will beat the broken Do they know That were looking to the air Do they know? Do they care? Is it a better world Up there? Did you know? My grandma and her husband Did you know? My best friend Did you know A thousand people a minute Did you know them Did you help them Did you love them Love them

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released May 20, 2015

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Gary Llama Richmond, Virginia

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